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The next day, she came round and thanked me, inviting me back anytime I liked. I was stunned, she had only seconds ago said her husband would return.

Not losing a second, I wrap a towel around myself and try to hide my red, semi-erect penis from the masturbation monitor. It is instead simply bad moral material, one that exists first as evil of a lesser sort and appears first in the mediocrities of addictions and infidelities. That would be some pretty heavy-handed symbolism, dudes. All of it points to one moral conclusion. The monitor walks past me and gives me a look out of the corner of his eyes as I pull up my tighty-whities. So where do I fall?

They lie to their bosses and cheat on their wives, are self-indulgent and decadent and unapologetically inconsiderate. There he proposed to his girlfriend Portia, who had been waiting for him all along. All of it points to one moral conclusion. I walk home, looking up at the new condos. It feels as though with every new glass high-rise that goes up along Upper Market, the eyes of the straight world penetrate deeper into the most sanctimonious hallows of the Castro.